Once upon a time in rural Maine, a big black bear found a briefcase under a tree. Hoping for food, he dragged it into the woods, only to find that all it held was the manuscript of a novel. He couldn’t eat it, but he did read it, and decided it wasn’t bad. Borrowing some clothes from a local store, and the name Hal Jam from the labels of his favorite foods he headed to New York to seek his fortune in the literary world. Then he took America by storm. The Bear Went Over the Mountain is a riotous, magical romp with the buoyant Hal Jam as he leaves the quiet, nurturing world of nature for the glittering, moneyed world of man. With a pitch-perfect comic voice and an eye for social satire to rival Swift or Wolfe, bestselling author William Kotzwinkle limns Hal’s hilarious journey to New York, Los Angeles, and the great sprawling country in between, where a bear makes good despite his animal instincts, and where money-hungry executives see not a hairy beast with a purloined novel, but a rough-hewn, soulful, media-perfect nature guy who just might be the next Hemingway. By turns sidesplittingly funny, stingingly ironic, and unexpectedly tender, The Bear Went Over the Mountain captures the zeitgeist of the 1990s dead-on, in a delicious bedtime story for grown-ups.

Warning: This book may cause flatulence. Walter is a fine dog, except for one small problem: he has gas. He can't help it; it's just the way he is. Fortunately, the kids Billy and Betty love him regardless, but Father says he's got to go! Poor Walter, he's going to the dog pound tomorrow. And then, in the night, burglars strike. Walter has his chance to be a hero. A children's beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too. From the Hardcover edition.

The Fan Man is a comic novel published in 1974 by the American writer William Kotzwinkle. It's told in the 1st-person by the narrator, Horse Badorties, a down-at-the-heels hippie living a life of drug-fueled befuddlement in New York City c. 1970. The book is written in a colorful, vernacular "hippie-speak" & tells the story of the main character's hapless attempts to put together a benefit concert featuring his own hand-picked choir of 15-year-old girls. Horse is a somewhat tragic, tho historically humorous, character with echoes of other famous characters in popular culture such as Reverend Jim Ignatowski of Taxi fame. In his inability to follow anything thru to completion he displays symptoms of attention-deficit disorder tho this could equally be drug-induced. His defining characteristic is his joy in renting or commandeering apartments which he fills with street-scavenged junk articles until full to bursting he moves on to his next "pad". The name "fan man" is a reference to another of his traits; the collecting of fans of all shapes & sizes.

As the grant-supported, knowledgeable survivor of the most refined scientific experiments, Doctor Rat, Ph.D., dedicates himself to defending mankind against the worldwide rebellions, uprisings, and insurgencies of his fellow animals.

"Pure magic. The mystery turns on the convoluted history of an old master toy maker will makes his toys with such skill that they have lives of their own. It would be advisable to sit down while reading what the toys finally do." --Playboy At the fashionable salon of Ric Lazare you can have your fortune told by an amazing machine of unerring accuracy. But the Paris police think Lazare is a con man and send Inspector Picard to investigate. Inspector Picard prefers lemon tarts and prostitutes to high society; and he is unprepared for the string of murders that pulls him across the continent until he is tangled in the killer's last seductive knot. A landmark in the history of detective fiction, mystery is taken to the level of enchantment in this lyrical thriller set in the glitter of nineteenth century Paris. "Alternately dark and glittering...a first rate vaudeville turn, a comedic mask lightly stretched over enigmatic questions...a witty sendup of the detective story, an intriguing meditation on illusion and the conjurer's art, an antic fantasy done with a richness of invention that doffs a hat to Dickens... Inspector Picard's quest takes him across a vividly imagined Europe, a continent of the mind, peopled with wonderfully baroque characters. The illusion, in all its myriad forms abounds. Everywhere there are magical happenings...and everywhere, there is the magic wrought by Kotzwinkle himself." --Chicago Tribune

First published in Redbook in 1975 to enormous acclaim, this O. Henry Award winner sold 100,000 copies in paperback. Swimmer in the Secret Sea is the poignant story of how a man and a woman endured the shock and anguish of their newborn baby's death.

Pain and pleasure, ecstasy and horror fuse in this splendid array of worldly parables from the pen of a master. What if you were a double amputee, singing for joy on the streets of New York . . . or a man who has actually held the earth in his hands? What if you were both the god and goddess in one of the most exalted erotic experiences in the universe . . . or the artist Correggio in the bitterness of his most sublime work . . . or a serving maid dreaming of love and luxury in a palace of death . . . or a man on a fatal mission, treading a battlefield ruled by a dying god? If you have the spirit and the longing to imagine, come along on a journey to the heart of passion—where love and hate are mirror images, where the alternating pulse beats of craving and denial define desire. Only William Kotzwinkle's extraordinary talent could chart such a course, could send his vision soaring through so many forms of fancy. In Jewel of the Moon, he transcends even his own marvelous powers of invention to create a cosmology of constant surprise—and irresistible enchantment.

Now, at last, we see where E.T. comes from -- who he really is and what his own distant world is like. Return with him to the Green Planet, whose inhabitants are the supreme masters of all growing things in the galaxy. Wander through their immense enchanted gardens, to which E.T. has returned, with Gertie's geranium, a fondness for junk food, and an all-consuming love for the earthling Elliott and his family. But things on Earth have changed since E.T. left. Elliott has begun to notice the opposite sex, and his cherished memories of E.T. are losing ground to thoughts of a girl in his class who wears a rhinestone ponytail clip. More important, he seems to have forgotten E.T.'s teachings of gentleness and peace. "He is about to become the most terrible thing of all," observes E.T. from three million light years away. "He is about to become -- Man."

Award-winning and bestselling author William Kotzwinkle is back with the second in the darkly comedic Felonious Monk series featuring Tommy Martini, a Benedictine monk with an anger management problem. Felonious Monk was praised as "amiably satirical" (Washington Post) and "a whiplash adventure" (Wall Street Journal).Coalville is on fire—from below. The old mines are burning, and everyone has poison gas in their brain. Maybe that's why the town is so corrupt. Now that he's a Benedictine monk, Tommy Martini never wants to see the place again—hell-raisers there hold a grudge till they die, and he's on their wish list. But a girl he once loved has gone missing, and his best friend from childhood has been murdered. Among the living is a shy girl from Tommy's past, who wants to help. Together, they learn the secret of the elephant's graveyard, and it's not in Africa. At the heart of Coalville is Parade Square, with plenty of pigeons, drugs, and...

This book contains 16 short stories of which three have to do with elephants. The book title is taken from the eighth story in the collection and is based on a newspaper headline which reads, "Elephant Bangs Train, Reuters News Service, Nairobi, Kenya, May 25, 1969". In the Kotzwinkle version, we are more or less inside the elephant's mind as he attacks and overturns a train in revenge for its having humiliated him on a previous occasion. All these stories are extraordinarily well written and are quite surreal and evocative. Adult content in some stories. Really excellent writing.

Meet Tommy Martini, the monk with an anger management problem. Since killing somebody with a single punch is not a needed talent in a monastery, he spends his time praying, meditating, and taking his anger management medicine. But his meditations are interrupted by a legacy from his uncle, a crooked priest. Arriving in a New Age Arizona town to claim his inheritance, Brother Tommy meets a charismatic, smoking-hot cult leader who claims that women are being impregnated by alien beings while they sleep. Tommy's own sleep is disturbed—by cartel hitmen, Mafia bill collectors, and women intrigued by his vow of chastity. He loses his anger management medicine in time to deal with the hitmen, but the women present an uphill battle.William Kotzwinkle's quicksilver touch has produced an effervescent piece of entertainment filled with suspense, turns you won't see coming, and the humor for which he is famous.A Publishers Weekly Pick of Mysteries & Thrillers for Fall. A...

Based on the screenplay by Melissa Mathison. What do you do when you're lost, millions of miles from home, surrounded by frightening creatures? You do what the Old Botanist did when he was accidentally left behind on Earth. First you find a friend... Filmaker STEVEN SPIELBERG and novelist WILLIAM KOTZWINKLE together create a magical story about two unforgettable friends: a gentle being from another world who is stranded on Earth, hunted, afraid and alone....and a ten-year-old boy who finds him and takes him home. --from back cover of paperback version

Pain and pleasure, ecstasy and horror fuse in this splendid array of worldly parables from the pen of a master. What if you were a double amputee, singing for joy on the streets of New York . . . or a man who has actually held the earth in his hands? What if you were both the god and goddess in one of the most exalted erotic experiences in the universe . . . or the artist Correggio in the bitterness of his most sublime work . . . or a serving maid dreaming of love and luxury in a palace of death . . . or a man on a fatal mission, treading a battlefield ruled by a dying god? If you have the spirit and the longing to imagine, come along on a journey to the heart of passion—where love and hate are mirror images, where the alternating pulse beats of craving and denial define desire. Only William Kotzwinkle's extraordinary talent could chart such a course, could send his vision soaring through so many forms of fancy. In Jewel of the Moon, he transcends even his own marvelous powers of invention to create a cosmology of constant surprise—and irresistible enchantment.