They say no one can hear you scream in space, and that really sucks for me...Win the International Space Lottery and get the chance to travel to the International Space Station? CheckTrain my butt off for eight grueling months with world-class astronauts? CheckToothbrush? CheckGet abducted by intergalactic space smugglers on my third day in space? Che...wait, what?Have the adventure of my life with a giant blue alien jerk who only wants to sell me to make money, but he can't seem to get rid of me? Double checkOkay, so I'm scared. I'm lost. And my captor is a big alien who has no sense of humor and glows when he's horny. Who knew that alien abduction could be so terrifying? Or blue and sexy? Now, I just need to find a way to get back home before I become someone's dinner or worse - fall for the jerk who stole me. 

They say that no one can hear you scream in space, but what about cry like a big fat baby...?Get abducted by aliens? CheckGet put up for auction on a giant "dark market" trade planet? CheckDespise the big alien jerk who kidnapped and sold me in the first place? CheckStop making stupid checklists? CheckSo I'm on a scary and inhospitable planet and I'm fairly certain everyone here wants to make Dani Tacos out of me. Life sort of sucks right now. So why is it that all I can think about is the blue jerk who kidnapped me and be pissed that he actually sold me? Sigh. I always prioritized poorly...

They say that no one can hear you scream in space, but that's a big lie because I know for a fact that plenty of aliens have heard me... So, who's sick of aliens and has two thumbs? This girl right here.I'm now on the run with the jerk who abducted me and we've got nowhere to go. We've crash-landed onto a hostile planet where the plant-life may or may not want to eat us, the locals might want to fight us and the Imperial forces may still be chasing us.And it doesn't help that I'm stuck with a guy who acts like an 80 year old curmudgeon stuck in a sexy blue alien body. Why is nothing ever easy for me?